My Final Performance at NYU in Retrospect

Great question! So every semester the Drama Department heads of faculty come together and pick out variety of shows to work on and open it up to Tisch Drama students to audition for and be apart of. You are unfortunately unable to audition for a MainStage show as a first year, but you’ll have the next three years to audition for as many as you like. I remember hearing that news as a first year and feeling a bit left out, but I promise you will have SO much to do and focus on as a first year Drama student, I promise you won’t have the time or energy to be cast in a MainStage show.

Though, as a first year Drama student you are required to fulfill something called your “Crew Assignment”. This is where you’re assigned a show to work on as a crew member. That could mean working on costumes, props, mics, box office, etc. Once you get your assignment, you will work on the show for a certain amount of time, usually near the end of the show process, for tech or performances.

The crew assignment is super helpful as it is a slow introduction into the MainStage world and what it looks like. You get the chance to meet other Drama students in various studios, see the Production and Design students work their magic, as well as connect with upperclassmen performers! You also gain amazing experience working backstage; seeing what technical elements it takes to make a show run smoothly and safely.

Every Spring semester MainStage puts on one musical, a little different from the fall semester.

This year they chose to do Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. A thriller musical composed and written by the brilliant Stephen Sondheim. To get the opportunity to even audition for a musical such as this is a privilege in of itself. Crazy thing is… I didn’t know this musical before auditioning for it. It was a completely new story and score for me and what a fun ride it was to learn it when preparing for my self tape audition.

I first read the play written by Christopher Bond (it’s based on his play) which left me ultimately horrified and intimidated by such a tragic story. I then listened to the music and almost gave up while trying to learn it multiple times. Sondheim is SO difficult. But I persisted – I chose to learn what I thought was the most fun music in the audition packet: Johanna’s track. For the audition we had to sing the entirety of Green Finch and Linnet Bird and a verse of Kiss Me pt 2 – insanity. I am so glad I stuck it through and submitted that self tape because…. woah was I in for a ride.

It would be an understatement to say that the audition process was the best one I’ve ever experienced. I’d never received so much support and encouragement through what was such challenging material. I was walking back to the admissions center after giving a tour when I saw an email requesting a callback. I was in absolute shock. I truly thought I was added to the email by mistake. I remember giddily telling my fellow ambassadors the good news and being met with so much love and cheers!! It was a beautiful moment.

I really thought going into the callback room would be terrifying but entering that room I was immediately proven wrong. I was overcome with so much warmth and welcoming energy. Behind the table I saw professors that had been teaching me for the last three years and I realized… wow they’re just passionate theater kids like me lol.

After singing Johanna’s material, my director asked if I could come in on Saturday (dance call day) with her audition material prepared and I of course said yes. I had one day to prepare her material, which was overwhelming, but I did it. I came in on Saturday, sang her music and was pleasantly surprised at feeling so free and empowered singing her music. I never saw myself in a challenging, monstrous role like that, which is why I didn’t originally audition for it – but clearly my director saw it.

I was cast as Beggar Woman and woah the surge of happiness and excitement was unlike anything I’d ever felt! I was gonna be in such a FIERCE musical. It felt even more incredible because it was the day right before my birthday so it was literally the best birthday gift ever. I was and still am SO grateful that I got to do this as my final show at NYU – really going out with a BANG.

It is crazy. We were told to come into our first rehearsal on January 9th completely off book and ready to work – similar to a professional show environment. Also, since it is such a well-known musical many people came into the process already knowing most of the music. Our director put exceedingly high expectations on all of us which only made us want to work even harder.

I did loads of character research, show exploration, writing and singing  over winter break preparing for the first rehearsal. The nerves and excitement on our first rehearsal was beautiful. Our director talked for hours about his vision and his perspective on the show which was insanely helpful, especially to ensure that we were all apart of the same world.

He showed us the inspiration behind his vision with films, photographs and many words. He is hands down the best director I’ve ever worked with. He put so much faith in all of us and whole heartedly supported us from the very first day to the very last. He was truly collaborative and encouraged us all to make character choices, even if they seemed “wrong”. I will without a doubt carry his wisdom with me for the rest of my life.

After a good month rehearsing in our small rehearsal space, we transitioned to the Iris Cantor Theater – which changed everything for me. We rehearsed with set pieces that were HUGE and daunting. The stage was huge and our director warned us that the first couple of times on it we’d feel swallowed by its enormity. He was right. Our movements, choices, physicalities and voices had to be translated into a way bigger scale.

I was incredibly overwhelmed the first day on that stage. I didn’t know how I could even begin to try to command a theater with my voice and body of such huge size. It felt like I was starting the character and show process all over again.

Our choreographer immediately picked up that I was feeling this way and gave me amazing advice. He told me to take it easy. Take it layer by layer – I shouldn’t push myself to immediately feel comfortable up there. Feeling the way that I did was just another part of the process. I took as much time as I could to get to know the set pieces as well as I could. I realized if my character knows this world so well, I as the actor should too.

So… this part of the story talks about probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. On one of our last days of tech, a Sunday, I sprained my ankle on one of the set pieces. A very scary but insanely amazing learning experience. I’ve never injured myself before, never gotten an X-ray, nor felt so cared and loved by a community of such talented people.

I had three days to rest my foot in time to be ready to perform on opening night. I did everything I could to heal. I struggled to believe that everything happens for a reason and that I’d get through it. I most of all was most terrified to use the same set piece that had injured me in the first place. I was encouraged by many cast and crew members to establish necessary boundaries and limits on how much energy I put into the show – which was so hard to do especially when I had committed 110% to the role before that.

I did eventually end up using the set piece again, but I made that final decision – no one else. It was genuinely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. To face something that traumatized you less than a week ago – wow. I had so much support and care during the entire experience of facing that again and I seriously believe that I wouldn’t have been able to do it if the environment we created wasn’t so safe, open and loving.