Your Roommate May Not Be Your Best Friend (And That’s Okay!)

At NYU, you have two options for roommate assignments. First, you can request up to one roommate. So, this could be a family friend, someone you knew from high school, or someone you met on Instagram. Or you can go “random.” I put random in quotation marks because it is not completely random. You fill out a living style survey about your habits, such as what time you wake up, how clean you are, whether you bring guests into your living space, and more. Additionally, NYU has something called geographic diversity, which ensures that when you’re matched with a “random” roommate, they will not be from the same zip code as you.

Living with roommates can be tricky, especially when everyone comes from different backgrounds. As a result, there can be pros to living with someone you already know. You may already be familiar with each other’s living styles, making it a sleepover that never ends! However, it can also be a tough and awkward situation to have to confront your friend over disagreements, like taking out the trash or cleaning the bathroom. Disagreements are inevitable when sharing a room with other people. But NYU has systems in place to help you work through them.

All residents must complete a living agreement for their room and the entire suite, if applicable. The living agreement covers everything from cleaning schedules and guest policies to room temperature and steps to take when someone is not fulfilling their obligations. While people often scoff at or speed through the agreement, it is the first line for conflict resolution. Taking it seriously helps prevent issues later by setting clear expectations early on.

Each floor in every NYU residence hall has a resident assistant (RA)—an upper-level student who supports residents’ transition to college life. Junior Madeleine Chan, an RA at Lipton Hall, explains that “most roommate conflicts stem from miscommunication or small misunderstandings that build up over time.” Her first advice: “Have an open conversation about how you feel.” Since conflicts rarely come from bad intentions, genuine curiosity and a willingness to understand can often resolve issues. If that doesn’t work, reach out to your RA for mediation. “We provide a neutral space for both roommates to share their thoughts and work toward a solution,” Madeleine says. RAs can also connect students to resources like NYU Wellbeing or residence hall directors. Here, you’re never alone; your RA can help.

Ultimately, it is up to you whether your situation is livable/fixable. It’s not an easy decision to make a gamble on moving. But as someone who did take the risk, it was worth it for me. There are two options for swapping rooms: a room change request or a bed-for-bed swap. Both are located within NYU’s housing portal.

Room change requests are the much simpler option, but the housing office rarely grants them. There is a form where you can indicate why you want to change rooms and where you would be willing to be placed instead. Then, after an undetermined amount of time (and sometimes never at all), the office will email you with a room option, and you’ll have a limited time to accept the offer. I was able to move through a room change request, but other students have reported not having much luck.

The more common method is the bed-for-bed swap forum. You can access the forum through the housing portal and essentially “post” your room. You can see other room postings and message people through the platform or email them. This can allow for more control over where you move, allowing you to communicate with a potential roommate and possibly tour the room. That being said, it can be a difficult process to find the right match. Still, it could be worth it in the long run.

The moving process is usually quick. Once your room change is confirmed, you often get less than a week to pack and move. My biggest piece of advice is to ask for help.

If you remember one thing from this article, it should be that you are not alone! Have someone to help you move out and someone else waiting at your new room to help you move in! While moving is a bittersweet experience, it is also a new beginning.